Things I Hate Thursdays - Bereavement Edition.

Hold on to your hats ladies and gentlemen, shit's about to get real...

Not quite two years ago, I lost my dad very suddenly.  It sucked and my world came grinding to a halt for a long, long time.

Besides the obvious tragedy and the pain of missing someone so much it literally takes your breath away, a new world of irritation was revealed to me:  the stupid shit people say after someone dies.

Which brings us to....

*** probably you should stop reading now if you're easily offended***

There are three main types of bereavement offenses.  Allow me...

Offender #1 -   Excessive exclamation points/ capital letters.

Look, I know you're really, realllllllly, sorry for my loss, but writing, "I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS!!!!!!!!" on a sympathy card makes it look more like you're screaming for an encore at a fucking Miley Cyrus concert (or whatever crap music you and your offensive personality listen to).



Offender #2 - Improperly used good manners.

I'm all for good manners, I am.  And part of that is saying "You're welcome." when someone says "Thank you."  But this does not count as good manners: (taken from my Facebook wall)

"I'm so sorry for your loss"

         "Thank you for your kind words"

"Ur welcome!!"

Seriously.


Offender #3 - Weird religious crap.

Listen, I generally have a lot of love (and occasionally a little envy) for those people who have strong faith, and it can be comforting in a difficult time, even for the non-religious of us out there.  So when you say, "I'm praying for you", I think that's great.  "My prayers are with your family".. that shit is sincere and thoughtful.

However, "Your dad is looking down on you from Heaven!"  Uhhh, awesome, glad I can think about that every time I have sex/take a crap/pay too much for car insurance.  Seriously, if there's an afterlife, I hope it's a whole lot cooler than watching the people on Earth like some kind of incredibly drawn out reality show you can never turn off.

Same thing with "He's in the loving arms of Jesus".  Oh, wow.  If that's the case, then there's a lot of people in those lovin' arms, am I right?  I'm pretty sure there's nothing my dad would have hated more than a billion-person-strong group hug with everyone who has ever lived and died.  And Jesus.

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Whew.  I feel a lot better now.  :)

Just What I Needed

Turns out, recovering from running an ultra wasn't quite as easy as I thought.

A month later, I haven't been having too many aches or pains, my blisters are almost healed, but my runs have been lackluster and draining.

I've run a dozen or so times in the last month, including two interval sessions and a shittastic 13 miler that left me super demoralized.

Today I got an unexpected hour reprieve from stay-at-home motherhood, and I took advantage of it with a fully loaded iPod and ran a hilly four miler in my neighborhood.

A few minutes in I noticed I was grooving a bit to the music.  And smiling.  I was having fun.  On a run.  F*ck yeah.

Then, this came blasting through my earphones:

gotta get that boom boom pow

And you know that part where she goes "Will.i.am... drop the beat now.." and it gets all crazy awesome?   Well my dance moves got crazy awesome.  I busted out some sweet runner-dance moves and the ONE car I saw the entire run was some lady in a pick-up truck who passed right as I was dancing and yelled "Shake it baby!"  Seriously.

I've got a 16 coming up with Rachel and Mattie this weekend.  Rachel's been just freaking rocking her long runs recently, so I'm looking forward basking in some of her positive energy and finishing happy and strong.

How do you get out of the running doldrums?   


What's your fav running song?

Oh where, oh where have my blog posts gone...

Oh where, oh where could they be?

It's amazing how fast time is going right now.  Two little kids at home, a beautiful, hot summer, concerts, and weekends away... and blogging has gotten pushed to the back burner.

I don't mind - I never really feel the pressure to blog, and while I appreciate all of you who read and comment, I don't feel an obligation to keep you entertained daily with my self-important drivel. And I figure it's less likely you'll tire of me if there are occasional lapses in our semi-weekly one-sided banter.

That said, I am ready to get back on the bandwagon!  I have about a million posts floating around in my head because you guys, so much funny stuff is happening!  That's how I know I need to blog more... when on a daily basis I see something and it's like "What the fuck?  Someone else needs to see this shit!"

On that note- funny random thing #1:

I was hanging out at my sister-in-law's house doing a little HIIT workout (which kicked ass, by the way), and sweet woman that she is, she brought me a beer after we were done.  And it was an IPA from O'so brewing company.  Hell yeah.

I noticed, but didn't pay much mind to the little warning label:

"WARNING:  bottle may contain hop cone"

 So I drank that bottle of hoppy deliciousness, and was almost to the end, when I felt something... tickle my lip.

I shit you not, for some reason I thought it was a June bug, and the 12 year old girl that lives inside screamed a little bit.

I alerted Kathy to my predicament, and we went to the kitchen to find something long and skinny we with which we could fish out the intruder.

It wasn't a June bug, but what plopped out was equally disturbing:

A freaking hop cone!  Who knew?

 Half pickled brussel sprout, half pine-cone, half something else that reminded me of college  liberal hippies... a hop cone!

                                              

O'so beer.  Oso tasty.  (see what I did there?  I'm going to get a slogan job* after that one, for sure)

*Upon further review, "slogan job" sounds inexplicably dirty.  Please replace with "motto-maker" in your head.

Raffle Winners!

Thank you to everyone that participated in our raffle to benefit the Alzheimer's Association.  The final numbers aren't in, but between blog friends, family, and people stopping by the day of the event, we raised over $3,000, almost double our original goal.

 Now, without further ado, the winners:

 
Any standard SparkleTech skirt (a $65 value!)


Kathy M.

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One Pair of Aspaeris Pivot Shorts!

Cindy F.

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 A Simple Hydration Water Bottle!

Kara @ It's a Dog Lick Baby World

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One medal hanger of your choice from Allied Medal Displays.

Rose @ Eat, Drink and be Meiri

Matt E.

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 FOUR lucky winners get a $15 Gift Card to RoadID!

Jen @ Adventures of a Badgergirl

Marcia @ The Healthy Slice

Kara @ It's a Dog Lick Baby World

Jennifer @ Runner Maybe

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One pair of BTB 430 Sunglasses!

Linda @ Mom Running From Cancer

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Belts from Hippie Runner to FIVE winners! 

Falon @ Falon Does Marathon

Taryn @ Taryn in Crazyland

Linda @ Mom Running From Cancer

Jen @ Adventures of a Badgergirl

Kimba

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Pair of Running Tights from Running Funky!

Rose @ Eat, Drink and be Meiri

Jess @ Run With Jess

Falon @ Falon Does Marathon

Sarah @ Sweet and Savory by Sarah


Lisa F.

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A Headband from BondiBand to THREE lucky winners!

Vanessa @ Gourmet Runner


Alicia @ Lish Land

Jen @ Adventures of a Badgergirl

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Compression Socks from Zensah!

Amy @ Mommy Isn't Here Right Now

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Polar Water Bottles!

Alicia @ Lish Land

Sarah @ Sweet and Savory by Sarah

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A Belt and Headband from One More Mile!

Nikki P

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Two Gatorade Prize Packs!

Matt E.

Amy @ Mommy Isn't Here Right Now

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Two Bras from Handful!

Suzanne @ Cows and Lasers and Everything In Between

Elizabeth N.

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If you're a lucky winner, please send me an email at twinlane@live.com so I can get you hooked up with your goodies!

Final Thoughts on Ragnar

I still am having trouble consolidating my thoughts into one neat little blog post, so I give you the following:

Ragnar:  The Highs


- Supporting the other runners.  My favorite couple of hours was when Rachel was running her 11 miler in the 90 degree heat (mainly because I didn't have to hear her yap yap yap all the damn time*).  We parked our van at several stops along the route to give the runners water, ice, gatorade, and a little cheer.

  

Cheer, also known as eyepatches on the tatas.
Photo credit, and sweet flag skills:  Falon

World-class roadside support right here:

- Falon's tweets, and discovering the hilarity of the hashtag.  A few of my favorites:

Sleeping on the ground at ragnar. #dryhumping

Ragnar is so fun! #punchinthebutthole

At exchange 17. Kimmie and Rachie are ready to pound out 3 together. #lesbianlovers

- My team.  They were all so awesome.  We really were lucky to have pieced together 12 enthusiastic, happy runners.

Ragnar:  The Lows


-Running all by our lonesome.  We really didn't experience the same Ragnar as a lot of other teams:  no rowdy exchanges full of teams, no seeing the same runners over and over and getting to know the other vans.  We started too late for our pace, and bringing up the rear was lonely.


-The finish line.  This was a little spirit-crushing guys.  Long story short, we were down two runners due to a family emergency, my van was stuck in Chicago traffic, and the other runners were just waiting fifty feet before the finish line for us. For a long, long time, in the blazing midday sun.

I crossed the damn finish line holding my purse and wearing flip flops, stumbling through the sand.  Our team ran kind of together the last fifty feet, but it wasn't the triumphant finish we had imagined.  Tears were shed behind my sunglasses, and it was bitterly disappointing.


-The finish line medical area.  One of our runners had a bit of heat exhaustion and was dehydrated, and the aid station put her on a cot.  They did not have ice, cold water for compresses, or anything else that you'd expect from an event like Ragnar.  It was 90 degrees, and I'm surprised they weren't overrun by runners needing help.


So, the big question:  Would I do it again?




Yes.  Definitely.  I learned a lot, and I had a lot of fun.


However, the next one I do, I'd like to walk onto someone else's team instead of organizing one.  It was a lot of fun, and Rachel did most of the work, but it still was a tremendous amount of time and effort over a 6 month period, and I'd kind of like to see what it's like to hop on someone else's team and just go with the flow.


Also, I'd like to do a different one other than Chicago... any suggestions?


  



*Jab specifically crafted to elicit this face:  

wtf?  I thought we were friends?

The Longest Day - 16 Hour Relay. Done.

Yesterday, Rachel and I piled into the van in the pitch dark of the early morning and headed into the unknown.

We planned to run for 16 hours around a track, one hour on, and one hour off, from 5am til 9pm.

We were a little terrified, but mostly relieved that the day was finally here.

We could not have imagined how extraordinary the day would turn out to be.  I'll write a full recap next week, but here is a video I made of our day:

Today, I feel... happy.  So, so happy.

I ran 39.25 miles. 

I am an ULTRAMARATHONER.

And I have the blisters to prove it.

(don't worry, blister pictures coming soon you sickos)

16 Hour Relay Eve

The van is packed with all of our essentials:  a tarp, a kiddie pool, a bunch of coolers and tons of food.  To the casual observer, it looks like we'll be doing a little camping or some summer tailgating.  

Not exactly, but we will be camped out at the high school track for 16 hours while Rachel and I alternate one hour on/one hour off of running.  All day.

So it's a lot like tailgating but, instead of beer, it's Gatorade.  And instead of lawn games we have foam rollers and ice packs.  And instead of a hangover, we might not be able to walk tomorrow.


Looks like Mama Nature is giving us a little punch in the b-hole with the weather:

DayJun 20

88^°FHigh

Isolated T-Storms / Wind

Probably not exactly the weather I would have ordered for a 16 hour relay on the track, but it could be worse.


The plan is to start slow and get slower.  We don't have a mileage goal; we just want to get through this puppy in one piece, and stay strong for all of the people whose names we are carrying around the track with us.

We'll be running one lap, walking one lap right from the beginning, and we'll try to keep that up as long as possible.

We have a lot of buddies coming out to support us by running with us or doing their own run on the track.  I'm so excited to see everyone and experience what it feels like to run all day.

I am excited, nervous, and so humbled by the outpouring of support and well-wishes people have shared with us in the last two weeks.  The stories people have shared about losing their loved ones to Alzheimer's are just heart-wrenching, and I have come to fear this disease so much more in the last couple of weeks.

If you want to know a bit more about Alzheimer's, please watch this short but powerful video:

If you haven't donated and would like to, please donate and leave a comment on our raffle page to get entered for some seriously awesome prizes by these great companies:  SparkleSkirts, Aspaeris, Allied Medal Displays, Simple Hydration, Road ID, BTB Sunglasses, Hippie Runner, Running Funky, BondiBand, ActiveBands, Zensah, Polar Bottle, One More Mile, Handful, and more!

Also, check out how you can be a part of The Longest Day by doing our Virtual Race!  Head over here for details.

ONE LAST THING!

Here's one more way to win a prize from our sweet sponsors:

We will send a prize to the donor (yes, you must make a donation to enter, it's a fundraiser people!)  who guesses closest to the total miles Rachel and I run as a team tomorrow.  Good luck!

Thanks again for all of the support! 

Wish us luck tomorrow, it's going to be a long day!