Basically, it's a tiny elf that prepares your child for a life of constant criticism and ubiquitous surveillance.
Oh, what I meant to say is it's a fun holiday tradition that involves putting a tiny overpriced elf in different places in your house to remind your children not to be naughty, or the elf will report back to Santa when it makes its nightly flight back to the North Pole.
So anyway, the idea has evolved into putting the elf in naughty situations around the house, and people get pretty creative with this thing:
Elf knows how to partayyyy
Oh yeah. Get some you smily little bastard.
It was the wine.
It's a rough life.
So, anyway, we don't do this tradition, mainly because I can scare my children adequately on my own thankyouverymuch, but also because hell if I'm going to waste an entire bag of mini-marshmallows on a sink bath for a creepy little doll.
But, I nearly reconsidered as I was spending some quality time with my foam roller the other day and saw a piece from the kids' foam block set:
If I had an Elf on the Shelf, you can bet my kids would be waking up to him working on his IT bands.
Had you heard of Elf on the Shelf? Do you have any ridiculous holiday traditions?
You're a bit early this year, yes? Where are we, the second week of fall and you've already made your grand arrival?
It snowed yesterday, just a little. My kids freaked out - they don't remember the snow last year and they were pretty pumped. Also, I've been sick. I had the pukes yesterday on top of an annoying cold I've had since Monday.
So, I've been feeling a bit under the weather... and sadly my 31 day workout streak took a big shit. Because I don't work out when I'm sick, usually. That whole "If it's above the neck, it's ok to run" bullshit is so stupid. Pretty sure you should not be running through migraines and sinus infections, but whatever.
I like to run when I'm just on the tail end of a sickness... like several an IPAs after a bad day, it seems like it helps me get over it faster.
So, I have a plan to fight the winter blahs, and I'm pretty excited about it. Last winter, I was awesome at getting up super early and getting to the gym nearly every day, and I'm ready to do it again. Plus, a new session starts at the Y on Monday... ahhh serendipity.
Want to see it? I know you do....
Monday - 6am - 7am - Power Vinyasa Yoga (because it is the best thing ever and it's easy to get out of bed for a 90 degree studio). Later on, an interval run on the treadmill while my babies nap.
Tuesday - Easy run in the a.m.
Wednesday - 5:30am-6:30am - Bootcamp class at the Y with a crazy badass instructor that reminds me of Rose
Thursday - Tempo run baby. Best day of the week.
Friday - 6:00am-7:00am HIIT class at the Y, then swim swim swimeroo for a half hour or so.
September 2012 will go down in the books as a incredibly mediocre fitness month with one huge deviation from that mediocrity. Namely, I sat on my ass a bunch, but ran a marathon.
September Recap
Miles Ran:90 (exactly the same as August!)
Cross Training Workouts Completed:Uhh, zero? Would you believe zero? First time for everything...
Meters Swam:0. Awesome.
Highest Run Mileage Week:34 <------- highest mileage week ever, unless you count running all of that at one time...
Current Triumph:I ran my first marathon. And I lived to write about it.
Current Goals:
31 DAY STREAK!!!Clearly, I need some extra motivation... so I am going to shame myself into getting in at least one workout every day during the month of October.
On Sunday, I ran the Fox Cities marathon, and it was... different than I thought it would be.
Let's start at the beginning...
I woke up on Sunday after a great night of sleep, hopped in the shower, and enjoyed half of a bagel with peanut butter and honey, some Gatorade, and a cup of coffee.
Decked out in the PR purple with my PureFlows, homemade armwarmers, and rufflebums.
The drive to the start was exceptionally pleasant because I got to ride with my husband and my beautiful friend Kim, who was also running her first marathon. Side note: she BQ'd, and I (spoiler alert) did not. ha.
We met up with a bunch of awesome runners at the start:
It was COLD out. I'm not sure of the exact temperature, but it was right around freezing, and my Raynaud's was acting up in full force.
I wasn't paying attention to the time, and suddenly everyone was running to the start, and I found my way into the pack around the 5:00 hour pacer, and lost all of my friends. An even bigger bummer, I didn't get to see my sister-in-law Kathy before the start to wish her luck on her first half (turns out, she didn't need it! :))
My strategy for the race was pretty straightforward:
Divide the race into six parts - five 5 mile chunks, and the last 1.2 miles.
Run the first 5 mile chunk slower than any of the others
Negative Split
Dance, cheer, sing, have a party out there.
Come in under 4:30:00
Miles 1 - 5 | 10:12, 10:25, 10:03, 10:19, 10:13 | Total - 51:25 | Avg: 10:17
The first few miles just flew by. Matt and I high-fived at each mile, and it seemed like we were constantly seeing mile markers, which was great.
The not-so-great part was the pace felt hard. I was fairly steady around 10:15 miles, and I swear, they felt like 8:30s. My feet were numb, my breathing was a little labored, and I felt... worn out. Not terrible, just not as fantastic as I had hoped I'd feel.
Miles 5 - 9 | 10:02, 9:58, 9:59, 9:57, 9:52 | Total - 49:52 | Avg: 9:58
These miles went by a little more smoothly - I wasn't checking my Garmin nearly as much as I did at first. The fear of starting off too fast was slowly fading, and I was regaining feeling in my feet.
We saw our awesome cheerleaders for the second time around mile 8, and it was such a pick-me-up.
This section was the hilliest portion of the course. Nothing crazy, but definitely enough long inclines to throw the pace off a little bit.
After the 10 mile mark, we ran through a gauntlet of middle school cheerleaders who were absolutely frenzied with excitement - it was AWESOME. I never knew I wanted 30 twelve-year-olds to scream my name hysterically, but as it turns out, I did. And it was amazing.
Shortly after that, I had to take pitstop number one of the day. In an out in less than 90 seconds... not too shabby.
As Matt and I neared the halfway point, he let me know he was going to drop back and walk a bit soon. I was feeling really good and was bummed to lose my buddy, but not worried about going it alone.
I hit the halfway at 2:13:46, and thought to myself, "I am not ready for this to be halfway done!" I was having a blast.
Miles 15-19 | 10:07, 9:56, 9:59, 9:45, 9:36 | Total - 49:32 | Avg: 9:54
I really started getting into my groove. I saw my awesome spectators again at mile 16, and shortly thereafter, we turned west, and into the WIND. Whoa. It was pretty windy (I found out later it was gusting to 25 mph), but it definitely gave me something to talk about with other runners!
The main thing I remember from the segment was how many people had already started walking. I passed dozens and dozens of people, and was feeling really strong. I tried to pass on encouraging words to the runners I passed, and heard "This WIND!" more times than I can count.
Miles 20-25 | 9:56, 10:05, 12:29 (ha), 9:50, 9:36 | Total - 52:08 | Avg: 10:25
Mile 20 was AWESOME! I even gave a little flying leap at the aid station (side note: I do not recommend this), and saw my cheerleaders again. I also saw Amy for the fourth time that day as she was waiting to start her relay leg. She gave me solid advice, "Hey, Kim! Go run a 10k!"
Predictably, after mile 20, it got a little rougher. I started feeling like I was ready to be done, and the miles were dragging. Right around 22, I had a sudden, urgent feeling. Yeah. That feeling.
I went from "Oh, hey, look at that funny sign... man.. I'm kind of tired... I wonder how Matt's doing..." to "Oh my god, I'm going to shit my pants. I'm going to shit my pants. I'm not a fast enough runner to get away with shitting my pants during a marathon".
Thankfully, I spotted a lone porta-potty up ahead.
I don't want to get too graphic with you guys, but this was a long, frustrating, fruitless three minutes in the crapper.
I actually laughed for awhile in that porta-potty (probably seriously concerning the passing runners). There's just something about going from the solid, rhythmic sound of your footfalls for four hours, the wind rushing past your face, to sitting in a hot, cramped little hut trying pretty unsuccessfully to poop that struck me funny.
I saw my awesome mommy at 23, and I told her that I was ok, but ready to be done. That was a very lonely mile, and it was so great to see her.
Around mile 24, things got rough emotionally. I was disappointed in my pace, pretty positive a negative split was out of the picture, and tired.
I also had forgotten that the course took us up and over a bridge next to Theda Clark Hospital. It's where I gave birth to my babies, and where my dad lost his life.
As I ran up the bridge, I could see the Children's Hospital where my littlest guy was stuck in an isolette for the first two weeks of his life. Just past that, I saw the concrete stairs leading to a little side entrance where my brother, husband, and I spent so much time while my dad was on life support.
I lost it. The tears were streaming and my breath was coming in ragged gasps. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. I blew a kiss the hospital where I had lost and gained so much, and crested the hill.
I cruised down the backside to the cheers of volunteers and spectators, and spotted Nick, who was such a welcome sight.
Last 1.2 | Total - 11:47| Avg: 9:49
He ran with me for about a quarter of a mile, then cut across the park to be able to see me cross the finish line.
As I rounded the corner and saw the finish line a few hundred yards away, I willed it to come closer. I picked up my pace just a little, and enjoyed the cheers of the crowd.
I raised my arms and took the last few strides of my first marathon.
When I crossed, I didn't cry, I didn't collapse, I just smiled. I was happy. I was emotionally and physically exhausted, and so very glad to be done.
I'm still digesting my feelings about this race, but they've been vacillating wildly between disappointment, relief, sadness, and pride since Sunday. I'm still glad to be done, but I'm already planning my next one.
Bottom line: Running 26.2 miles was harder than I thought it was going to be.
If they could make a bumper sticker that says "26.2 Miles - That Shit Ain't Easy" I'd be all over that.
Check back later this week for all of the post-race fun and some reflection on my goals - some were met, and some were definitely not.
But it is important to note... I BEAT OPRAH!!!!!!!! :)
In exactly forty-eight hours, I'll be almost done with my first marathon.
I'm getting excited.
The sleep-deprivation induced apathy that has settled on me this week is finally ebbing away. The kids have not been even close to sleeping through the night, and I've been in a fog for days. But after a couple of solid nights of sleep, I feel more wired, more anxious, more ready to run. I find myself thinking a few times a day, "I wish it was HERE already!"
Deep in taper madness (with still two days to go!), I find myself increasingly focused on logistics. The pace calculator at Cool Running has become my new best buddy, and I've been poring over DailyMile logs like they're going to unlock the secrets of the universe.
So, here's the plan:
***First and foremost, I want to have fun. I want to appreciate the beautiful course, the spectators, the glorious weather(!), and my fellow runners.***
Hippie blissful runner-speak aside, I have to face my demons and realize I'm not, nor will ever be, a runner that's content to just run a race to run it. I do have a time goal, and yes, I know how inadvisable that is for a first marathon.
Instead of the regular A, B, and C goals, I'll just put out there my real, honest goal.
4:29:59
Here's how I'm going to get there:
Run the first 10 miles no faster than 9:45s, but probably closer to low tens.
At the half, if I feel like it, I'll pick up the pace to closer to 9:30s (my long run pace)
At mile 20, pick it up gradually every mile and progression run the shit out of that marathon.
Drink early and often.
Eat pretzels, ShotBloks, and Starburst and hope I don't crap myself.
So that's that. Either all of that will happen, or I'll just blow up and have to crawl the last 10 miles. Either way, should make for a good blog post on Monday, right?
Really though, this is one of those rare races where the thing I care most about is feeling good at the end. Mainly because, well, it's a FREAKING MARATHON, and because of the number of failed attempts at this beast I've had over the past few years.
I had planned to run this same marathon in 2009:
Got knocked up.
2010:
Giant funbags + infant twins = not fun training
2011:
Femoral stress fracture
And now here I am about to actually run it. I feel incredibly lucky.
AND SO NERVOUS!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!
Tell me it'll all be ok, ok? Any last minute advice for me?
What a beautiful, crisp fall morning we have in Northeast Wisconsin... I went for a run (my last before my FIRST MARATHON) this morning, and my cold ears and sniffling tells me that the seasons are changing! I love summer, but I'm so excited for running in fall weather.
I wanted to write a quick post about my marathon prep. A few months ago, I wrote a post talking about the science behind carb-loading, and I tried it in earnest for the first time for the Wisconsin Half Marathon.
I counted my carbohydrates each day and aimed for 400g each day... which is hard. And depressing. Seriously. Going from an unintentionally lower-carb diet to 400g a day made huge changes for me. I felt lethargic, BLOATED, and I was starving all of the time. I'd find myself just snacking without even really realizing it, and I was FULL! By the time race day rolled around, I damn near needed Rachel to cart me to the start line in a wheelbarrow - I was up four pounds and oddly obsessed with my new sausage fingers.
The discomfort was worth it though. I didn't need to drink nearly as much water during the race and felt like I had so much energy the entire time. So I'm doing it again, starting with....
Bob's Red Mill 10 Grain Pancake Mix
You haven't lived til you've had these pancakes. I'm literally salivating as I type this.
So anyway, I'll be up to my eyeballs in bread and fruit and juice this week, hoping to give myself the best possible chances of not having the end of the marathon be a death march.
________________________________________
Also, we'll be having a blogger meet-up at the Fox Cities Marathon this Sunday! You don't have to have a blog, or be a runner, or anything to come have beers and laughs with us post-race! You know you want to.. we're so nice! :)
Please?????
Anyway, we'll be meeting around 12:00-12:30 at a local watering hole... email me for all the details!
twinlane@live.com
And if seeing me isn't enough to bring you out, there will be plenty of other (much cooler) people there too: this girl, and this girl, and this girl...
Blogger meet-up - are you in? If you can't make it, will you have someone to hug you all day to make you feel less devastated?
I could not possibly be any more excited for a race that I'm not running.
Tonight, I'm making the two hour trek to Rachel's house.
Tomorrow, I'll be waking up at 2:45am to drive an hour to the start of...
The North Face Endurance Challenge!
THEN, I get to cheer on Rachel as she tackles her first 50k! And I even get to run a little bit with Julia who is getting ready to rock her first 50 miler!
Go give them lots of well-wishes on their blogs and think about them tomorrow - they'll be doing something incredible.
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