Laughing Gas Makes You Creepy

Happy Monday! 

Hope everyone had a great weekend - I spent the majority of mine in my bed, recovering from having four impacted wisdom teeth removed. 

In the days leading up to the procedure (which I have put off for nine.. yes, NINE years) I had somehow convinced myself that it was going to be a piece of cake.  I spoke to friends who had their wisdom teeth out and was reassured by the casual waves of their hands and the "no big deal" phraseology that peppered the conversations.   I have a fairly high pain tolerance and was ready to spend a whole day on the couch watching trashy TV while my dear husband cared for our little monsters.

Things did not exactly go as planned.  I've had my butt parked on the easy chair moaning for about three days... and I haven't eaten anything more than a bit of pudding and almond milk since Thursday.  My hubs is back to work today, so hopefully I will be able to manage with the kids all day. 

Surgery went fine, and the doctor's office experience was not unpleasant at all.  Might have been something to do with the nitrous oxide they gave me...  which leads into another....

Awkward Sexual Remark at the Doctor's Office

Seriously, is it bad I actually have to tag these on my blog because I have so many examples of my inappropriate comments?  If you missed it, here is a whole post on my inappropriateness.  Maybe I should make this a regular feature.

Anyway, the surgeon started feeling around my inner elbow to check out my veins.  A little background here - my husband was a phlebotomist (draws blood for a living), so I always pay extra attention when I get my blood drawn. 

Surgeon:  Hey, looks like you brought your veins to the party!  Usually my female patients don't have veins like that.

Kim: (would be mildly offended if not sedated) Yeah, my husband said I have good veins.  He's into that.

Surgeon:  So is that how your husband was attracted to you, your veins? (weird look)

Kim:  Well, he's a phlebotomist, you know, he draws blood?  (starting to feel the gas... a lot) Yeah, that's what does it for him I guess... we'll all be making out, and then he'll start caressing my inner elbows... it's pretty weird.

For some reason, he chose just that moment to knock me out.  Huh.  Can't believe he didn't want to hear more about my gross made-up foreplay.

So there you have it... if you ever have to get laughing gas, be forewarned that when you think you're being funny, you're not.  You're just being creepy.

Apparently beer and nitrous oxide have similar characteristics...