Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Inappropriate Doctor Visits

I've been having a bunch of doctor's visits recently because apparently it's not super normal to have a mid-shaft femoral stress fracture.

My doctor ordered the initial bone scan, a DEXA bone scan to rule out osteoporosis and osteopenia, and also a ton of blood tests to check my blood calcium and thyroid function. 

Osteopenia.  Ahhhsteopeenia. Something penia.  Sounds dirty to me.. I actually laughed when my doctor said it.  Yes, I have the maturity of a seven year old.

Speaking of being inappropriate at the doctors, I have a history of saying inappropriate things to my doctor because I get nervous and try to be funny.

Doctor:  "Are you sexually active?"
Me:  "No, I just lie there."

When discussing why my previous doctor didn't do breast exams, I pretty much shouted
 "Doesn't anyone want to feel my boobs!"

So when I was at the bone scan on Friday, the guy said (referring to the area of uptake on the scan)

"Well, it's pretty big, but I've seen bigger!" 

My eyes got wide, and I opened and closed my mouth a few times, and then (here's where I'm really proud of myself) DIDN'T say "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!"  It was the most self-control I've ever exhibited.




11 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear of all the doctor visits, and hope you're healed up quickly....BUT....

    the rest of it CRACKED.ME.UP!!!!

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  2. Bahahah. Your doctors must love you.

    Kev's grandpa is notorious for telling doctors "Everything I eat, it turns to shit!" when they ask him if anything medically is bugging him. :)

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  3. ha ha this made my day. lol love it!

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  4. Too funny! Good on you for having a sense of humor even at the doctor's!
    :)

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  5. Ummm...I have actually said "That's what she said" to my doctor.

    Were we separated at birth (you know, by something other than 7 years)?

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  6. This is, quite possibly, the funniest post I've read in a WHILE.

    Hang in there!!! If you can't laugh at it, then it isn't worth saying.

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  7. Self control is SOOOOO overrated! Next time you should say it! I bet they'd be stoked on it.

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Hearing from you makes me happy! :)

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