I wanted to write today to document some things for myself; probably more appropriate for a diary than a public blog, but I'm guessing with my lack of posts, not too many people will see it anyway.
I was lying in bed last night and was struck with the simple realization of how fragile and tenuous each one of our existences is. Literally, at any moment, one of my loved ones could be ripped away by an illness, an accident, and while incredibly overwhelming, these thoughts are pushing me in a different, and more positive, direction.
I started a personal fitness coaching business in January, and I love it. I'm lucky enough to have several loyal and wonderful clients, and seeing their growth over the past few months is nothing short of moving.
The downside is that I'm gone many evenings throughout the week, and that has had a ripple effect on my children and my marriage. Instead of devoting myself during the day to my 2.5 year old twins, I find that I'm stressed out because I'm always behind in housework, behind in meal planning, behind in record keeping and planning for my business. So they get a lot more "one second, honey" and "guys, please leave mama alone for five minutes" than they used to. They get less of the fun homeschool activities we've always enjoyed so much, and more time with mom instructing them to "find an activity." The moment Nick gets home, I rush out the door to meet a client, and when I get home for the night, I am exhausted. I push the housework to the next day, and the cycle continues.
It's hard for me because I'm a very forward-progress kind of person, but I've decided to not grow my business any more at this time. I may take on the occasional new client, but I'll be stricter with my availability so I'm not gone more than two nights a week.
I want to cherish every moment I have with my sweet boys and my incredible husband. Time moves so fast.
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| Happy birthday. :) |
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| Peanuts. |
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| Christmas 2010 |
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| Reading with Daddy, December 2011 |
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| Impromptu hallway snuggles, Summer 2012 |
Aww adorable photos. More family time is always the right choice. You're wise to acknowledge all the demands on your time and to prioritize. There are only 24 hours in a day... unless you moved to Iowa... then I think you'd find that the days are so much longer. :)
ReplyDeleteI can totally sympathize. As a cancer mom, I live my life very differently than most. I cherish time, and people, and moments. It's just not worth it for me to rush through life... So, good for you!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Sarah
www.thinfluenced.com
I feel you. Your family is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely made the right choice.
ReplyDeleteAnd dude, your whole family is super attractive.
I do not blame you at all. Even right now, as I just got home from work, I still have mommy guilt. Right now and for the past 2 weeks of my new job, I did not have my girls in school. I had to get a sitter a total of 6 times and even though they are with a friend of mine, I feel bad doing it.
ReplyDeleteI promise you will never regret it. I am actually proud that I was able to make it work for me to be a stay at home mom (for the most part) for the past 8 years.
your boys are adorable! i dont have a family to really come home to besides my pups but i totally get you. i just yelled at my puppy for crying at me so loud to play with her because i was too busy reading blogs. but honestly. the entire day at work i was stressing because i just wanted to come home and relax after work. hang out with the pups. unwind. i wondered how long i can keep up blogging and how people with families, jobs, etc do it!?! guess it will be a work in progress and a figure it out as i go thing! you are amazing! sounds like you have a great job and a wonderful family! glad you made the best decision for YOU and the people that matter most!
ReplyDelete