I wanted to write today to document some things for myself; probably more appropriate for a diary than a public blog, but I'm guessing with my lack of posts, not too many people will see it anyway.
I was lying in bed last night and was struck with the simple realization of how fragile and tenuous each one of our existences is. Literally, at any moment, one of my loved ones could be ripped away by an illness, an accident, and while incredibly overwhelming, these thoughts are pushing me in a different, and more positive, direction.
I started a personal fitness coaching business in January, and I love it. I'm lucky enough to have several loyal and wonderful clients, and seeing their growth over the past few months is nothing short of moving.
The downside is that I'm gone many evenings throughout the week, and that has had a ripple effect on my children and my marriage. Instead of devoting myself during the day to my 2.5 year old twins, I find that I'm stressed out because I'm always behind in housework, behind in meal planning, behind in record keeping and planning for my business. So they get a lot more "one second, honey" and "guys, please leave mama alone for five minutes" than they used to. They get less of the fun homeschool activities we've always enjoyed so much, and more time with mom instructing them to "find an activity." The moment Nick gets home, I rush out the door to meet a client, and when I get home for the night, I am exhausted. I push the housework to the next day, and the cycle continues.
It's hard for me because I'm a very forward-progress kind of person, but I've decided to not grow my business any more at this time. I may take on the occasional new client, but I'll be stricter with my availability so I'm not gone more than two nights a week.
I want to cherish every moment I have with my sweet boys and my incredible husband. Time moves so fast.
|Happy birthday. :)|
|Reading with Daddy, December 2011|
|Impromptu hallway snuggles, Summer 2012|