Monday, September 26, 2011

Laughing Gas Makes You Creepy

Happy Monday! 

Hope everyone had a great weekend - I spent the majority of mine in my bed, recovering from having four impacted wisdom teeth removed. 

In the days leading up to the procedure (which I have put off for nine.. yes, NINE years) I had somehow convinced myself that it was going to be a piece of cake.  I spoke to friends who had their wisdom teeth out and was reassured by the casual waves of their hands and the "no big deal" phraseology that peppered the conversations.   I have a fairly high pain tolerance and was ready to spend a whole day on the couch watching trashy TV while my dear husband cared for our little monsters.

Things did not exactly go as planned.  I've had my butt parked on the easy chair moaning for about three days... and I haven't eaten anything more than a bit of pudding and almond milk since Thursday.  My hubs is back to work today, so hopefully I will be able to manage with the kids all day. 

Surgery went fine, and the doctor's office experience was not unpleasant at all.  Might have been something to do with the nitrous oxide they gave me...  which leads into another....

Awkward Sexual Remark at the Doctor's Office

Seriously, is it bad I actually have to tag these on my blog because I have so many examples of my inappropriate comments?  If you missed it, here is a whole post on my inappropriateness.  Maybe I should make this a regular feature.

Anyway, the surgeon started feeling around my inner elbow to check out my veins.  A little background here - my husband was a phlebotomist (draws blood for a living), so I always pay extra attention when I get my blood drawn. 

Surgeon:  Hey, looks like you brought your veins to the party!  Usually my female patients don't have veins like that.

Kim: (would be mildly offended if not sedated) Yeah, my husband said I have good veins.  He's into that.

Surgeon:  So is that how your husband was attracted to you, your veins? (weird look)

Kim:  Well, he's a phlebotomist, you know, he draws blood?  (starting to feel the gas... a lot) Yeah, that's what does it for him I guess... we'll all be making out, and then he'll start caressing my inner elbows... it's pretty weird.

For some reason, he chose just that moment to knock me out.  Huh.  Can't believe he didn't want to hear more about my gross made-up foreplay.

So there you have it... if you ever have to get laughing gas, be forewarned that when you think you're being funny, you're not.  You're just being creepy.

Apparently beer and nitrous oxide have similar characteristics...


  1. Too funny! I am one of those adults that also needs to get my wisdom teeth out. I have been avoiding it too and I got to tell you this isn't making me want to do it! Feel better and I hope you survive the kids today.

  2. I always get told I have excellent veins when I get blood drawn. But it's never snagged me a guy. hahahah.

  3. OMG, that's so funny! Hope you get feeling better

  4. bahahahah! omg. your doctor visits sound like the most hysterical things ever!

  5. Oh my gosh!!! You make me laugh. That was an AWESOME comment. I get really awkward when I'm giving birth... what's up with that?

    I've been putting off the wisdom teeth thing for way too long as well. Ugh. Sounds like I'll just wait a little longer...

  6. I, too, have excellent veins. My husband keeps trying to convince me to let him practice his IV starts on me (he's a paramedic student). Yeah. Like that's going to happen.

    So sorry you're suffering. Try a Vicodin chased with Bailey's, I hear it's diving. Trust me. I'm a pharmacist.

  7. That's HILARIOUS! You should absolutely devote a section (or even a day per week) to your inappropriate comments because they're awesome!

    I have terrible veins BTW....they roll like [here's where you fill in some inappropriate word] :)

  8. This is too funny! I'm off to read your other post you have linked here. Sounds like you're my kind of gal!! Love people who say inappropriate things...refreshing...makes me feel so not alone!

  9. How old are your twins? I just read this book called Cutting For good. There were twins in the story and I was so fascinated!


Hearing from you makes me happy! :)

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