Hey - head over to Jodi's at Run Jodi Run and check out the Q&A with yours truly! Thanks for featuring me Jodi!
It's been awhile since I've done a Things I Hate Thursday... but never fear. My wrath is still there, and I've got enough TIHT (yes, that 'H' is silent) posts to keep the anger sharks at bay for a while longer.
So I go to my mailbox the other day, and the FAO Schwartz catalogue is staring up at me, enticing me with all of its fancy toys and promises that my children will love me forever if I only buy them everything on its pages.
My kids already have lots of books, blocks, and balls (oh my!), so what else could they POSSIBLY need?
Well, let me frickin tell you.
For starters, no bedroom is complete without this:
|Your child's very own ride-on menagerie! This elephant is a steal at only $649.99.|
Seriously. I wish I was making this up.
Does your little girl love Dancing with the Stars as much as my kids love peeing on screen doors? Then you'd be remiss to waste this opportunity to be a proud new owner of a DWTS prototype Barbie doll!
|Choose from the Waltz, Samba, or Super Slutty Barbie for only $1,500.00!|
And after you're done teaching Slutty Barbie how to belittle poor plain Malibu Beach Barbie, you might want to get your sweet little angel one of these:
|Her very own Barbie Foosball Table!|
At only $24,999.99 (I am not f*cking kidding here guys) you can't afford NOT to buy!
And last, but certainly not least, is this gem. I mean - I know I can remember being a little girl, and playing with my Etch-a-Sketch, and thinking:
"You know what, this is really fun. But you know what would make it more fun? $1,499.99 worth of 'dazzling, handset sapphire Swarovski crystals'"
I'd like to take this opportunity to tell Mr. Schwartz (because I'm sure he reads my blog) that instead of ordering from his catalogue that so perfectly represents everything I despise about the culture of this country, I'm going to go ahead and use its glossy, glistening pages to pick up the little piles of turds my cat leaves me every morning on my stairs.
That is all.