I had a really crappy Thanksgiving this year. It's my fault - I'm feeling depressed and edgy, and I hate it. I don't get depressed too often, but when it comes, I know all I need to do is go for a long run to help pull myself out of it.
But you know what? I can't run. And that sucks.
It reminds me of when I was pregnant. I had so much fear and anxiety with my pregnancy, and I heard from my perinatologist every week how slim the chances were of my kids surviving and thriving after I went on bedrest at 22 weeks... and I just needed to escape. To get away to deal with it.
And I couldn't. I couldn't run, I couldn't exercise. Or drink, or smoke. I couldn't even have sex. Honestly - all of my coping mechanisms were tapped out, and it was a really difficult and humbling time in my life.
This not running thing is very reminiscent of those months - it makes me realize how very, very dependent I am on running for my mental health. Not only for that endorphin "fix", but for the sense of accomplishment, the competition, that raw burn that you have when you've expended everything you have.
The pregnancy and the broken femur stuff has made me more well-rounded. I have other ways of coping now. I've started swimming, and doing yoga, and I really enjoy it.
And - since I'm not pregnant, I can have a drink. And so today when my kids went to bed, I poured myself a fancy drink. Cake flavored vodka and pineapple juice. And I'll be damned if it doesn't taste just like a pineapple upside down cake.
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| Get in my bellyyyy... |
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| Oh yeah. |
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| My two little monsters. |
God that drink looks awesome, those "monsters" look precious, and your femur thing.....yeah, that sucks.
ReplyDeleteKeeping perspective is so damn hard, but I think I read some of that here :)
Hang in there...
Damn, I was wondering what to do with that cake flavored vodka. Sounds yummy! Way more sophisticated than my lemon (chiffon) vodka and Diet Pepsi.
ReplyDeleteThat drink looks amazing, and your little guys are so so cute!
ReplyDeleteI really hope you are back out there soon, and all this coping will be a distant memory...hang in there :)
That drink sounds amazing. Chin up Kimmy, things will come around. That sounds so cheesy, but they totally will... if I have to drive up there and glue your femur back together myself. xo
ReplyDeleteThank goodness for booze! I get truly depressed without the ability to run, so I really feel for you right now. Keep up all the other good stuff like yoga and swimming - a little endorphins are better than none, right? And of course, more of those amazing drinks. I'm coming over for a pineapple upside down cake martini, ok?
ReplyDeleteSending you huge "can run again soon" vibes.
ReplyDeleteOh-my, CAKE flavored vodka?!?!? I've never heard of it and an VERY intrigued. Is it still 0 calories too?
ReplyDeleteI'm on the DL again too... day 1 is not going well. Drinks may be in store for me when the kids nap!
Yummy drink and I feel ya. Or at least I totally remember how hard it was being pregnant and wanting to run or get your fixx some how and not being able too. It was kind of like entrapment for me and I could not wait to be free again (as in have my own body back). It's good your are doing other forms of exercise to get you through it. Good luck and don't get down on yourself about being a little blue...we all have those days, you'll snap out of it! :) Jess
ReplyDeleterunningtobeskinny.com
oh my word I need to get my hands on that vodka. that drink looks amazing!
ReplyDeleteI too have to credit running with helping keep me out of the depression pit this winter. I get the SADs so bad when the days get shorter, and am totally dependent on running now to keep me from drowning. Whatever works, right?!
Not running makes me grumpy and want a drink too. Hugs. Those are some handsome little men though.
ReplyDeleteMy Thanksgiving bit the high hard one. It continues to suck as Pat barfs in his sleep. I want this weekend to be over and everyone to be healthy. I need some wellness in my life! I can't drink and be on barf duty, so I'm hoping to get out for a run Monday morning. Something has to save my sanity...
ReplyDeletemmmm make me a drink. I'd love to have one with you. Come down? I'll cheer you up.
ReplyDeleteAs you can tell I am very behind in blog reading. I loved this post because you perfectly said what I feel about running. It is more than the endorphins it is the sense of accomplishment and that is not something I get from my day (and night...and middle of the night)job all the time.
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of cake flavored vodka and that sounds heavenly, just heavenly. If I wasn't still recovering from the stomach flu I would go out and get some right now!
Oh, I'm going to be all over that drink. My and my Bestie are having our xmas celebration on the 17th, I gotta get this!! :)
ReplyDeleteThat drink looks amazing! Your little "monsters" are really cute!
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteThat drink looks good. I am following you from the Thanksgiving blog hop.
Joanna
http://joannalife.com/
um, CAKE flavored vodka???
ReplyDeletewhy don't they just call it heaven flavored vodka, or bliss?
yum. cheers.