Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Seven Things I Learned in the Locker Room at the YMCA

I've been taking some classes at the Y for a couple of weeks now, and subsequently been thrust into the strange and oft-frightening realm that is the Ladies Locker Room.  dum dum dum......

1.  That weird bucket of used razors they keep on the counter is the single most disgusting, horrifying thing I've ever seen.  Do they EVER empty it?  *shudder*

2.  I can tell which moms I would want to be friends with solely based on the way they change a diaper.  Perfect example - two crying babies, two moms.  One mom (to her six month old) "Hannah!  Knock it off!  HANNAH!  STOP CRYING!"  The other mom (to her six month old) "Sweet pea, it's ok... we're almost done.  (singing) Annabelle's a munchkin, a munchkin, a munchkin..."  I love moms that are tender to their babies.

3.  The self-conscious hell that is middle school starts early for overweight girls.  On the day of my first swimming lesson, I saw two girls, probably 6 or 7 years old, one rail thin and the other pudgy.  They stood in front of the mirror, and the skinny-mini was striking silly glamour poses and giggling while the heavier girl pulled anxiously at her swimsuit.  This sucks so bad - I wish all kids could just be kids.

4.  GET A CORNER LOCKER!  Made the mistake of getting one out in the open, so while I was trying to keep my towel on and put on my underroos at the same time, I had little girls racing back and forth behind me, in front of me, everywhere!  Now I park in the corner and box the little monsters out.

5.  There is no respect for a drawn shower curtain.  Nothing like scrubbing your scalp, eyes closed and relaxing, and opening them to find some seventy year old woman peeking in at you.  

6.  There is one drain for every two showers at the Y.  It's right in the middle of the two showers, underneath the divider. See #7.

7.  If someone gets into the shower next to you.  KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE DRAIN!  If you notice the water becoming a little amber... RUN FOR HIGH GROUND!  I am not joking here.  

I won't elaborate on #7 due to the reputation of tastefulness that my blog has.  Oh wait.  Yeah, I got peed on.

The Running Divas tank giveaway ends tonight at midnight!  Go enter now!


  1. so it was literally a golden shower?

    You have been annointed by the gods of the YMCA...

  2. Ack, higher ground! Haha. So sorry that happened to you.

  3. Omg, that's nasty!! I mean seriously??

  4. OMG, that made me uncontrollably shudder. BLECH!

    Poor young kids. I was always thin, but always (even at a young age) empathized and tried to befriend girls who weren't or were over-developed, etc. Yeah, sucks.

  5. Oh yuck! Who pees in a public shower!?! I am so glad you are taking swim lessons! I am so going to try to get you to do a tri! They are really fun! I so identify with the poor chubby girl. That was me with all my skinny friends. It was so hard, but I guess it made me who I am today.

  6. I'll pee in my shower at home, no problem, but a public shower? That's just RUDE.

  7. Hee Hee. I was in the shower at the Y one day and distinctly smelled urine (not going to my drain). So I said "WOW! Is it me or does it totally smell like URINE in here?!" If there was wind it would have been whistling...

    My Y has separate locker rooms for the under 18 set and families. The downside of this is that the old ladies who take the water classes are always en masse in my locker room. Let's just say that they are *ahem* free with their bodies.

    No one needs to see that much old lady ass. No one.

    Also...I tend to mock my babies when they cry during diaper changes. "Waaah!! Someone is wiping my poopy butt! Life is SO HARD for me!! Waaah!!"

    Because really, what's the point of having kids if you can't damage them psychologically?

  8. Ewwwwww! lol

    Stopping by from the finding new friends weekend hop! Following you by GFC. Have a great weekend. I'd love if you stopped by my blog.

    Lisa @

  9. Common... Where were the pictures for THIS post!?


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